Suicide
by Vanne-the-bookworm
Summary: Riley isn't happy with her life and decides to commit suicide.


It was two am in the morning. Riley Summers sat in her room, in front of her computer, her expression defeated, yet haunted. It had happened again; she had another 'attack', another wave of depressing thoughts that overcame her ability to think. She honestly thought she was getting better, apparently not. The ghost of a smile flickered over her face as she remembered a certain Ellen show, the one where Ellen had told jokes about parents' confusion with typical internet slang. It faded quickly once she went back to her earlier thoughts. She started thinking about suicide. Why wouldn't she? She had been ignored by her parents, ignored at her boarding school (not to mention hating boarding), only had two friends who didn't hang out with her much…the list goes on and on. She sighed. She thought that going to boarding school would help her – learning to be independent, making new friends, having a new challenge. Instead, she found herself to be miserable. Her parents tried to help, but she pushed them away, thinking again, _why would they understand?_ They were happy…something that she wasn't for the past three years.

She never cutted herself. In her opinion, it would be no help. Why would it? After all, all it would do was to bring pain. Every time she thought of committing suicide, her brain would automatically think of her parents, of her friends and of her brother (not by blood). They would stop her from committing to such a horrific act; the very thought of them grieving for her made her sick. She imagined that her mother and father would blame themselves, along with everyone else she knew. She would think: _How could I be so selfish? How could I even consider such a terrifying thing?_ She was disgusted with herself. Committing suicide was a selfish act. A cowards act.

Every time she thought of her 'brother', she felt…hopeful. Loved. Her brother was a basketball coach (hers actually) and was not only a brother to her, but also a best friend. But she would never tell him about her negative thoughts; it would only worry him. And frankly, it never came up when she was with him. She was so happy to just see him, she would never be sad, and would simply be a proud little sister. However, she rarely saw him anymore; he had just recently started his own gym, an ambition of his for the past three years she knew him. She was so proud of him; finally his dream came true! Sadly, she would never ever be there for him, or to simply see him again. He deserved a better sister. He was the only person she truly cared about.

With the last mental barrier between her and jumping off a bridge gone, she finally decided to commit to her selfish act. A tear slipped down her face as she scolded herself and referred to herself as a coward. Unfortunately, to her, the positives to suicide outweighed the negatives. She decided to write letters to those she cared about, the most being Master William, her brother.

She stood up to search for the elegant black pen she always kept with her. It was her favourite pen, one which Master William had gotten for her when he went to Thailand. It was simple, but elegant. It had a thick black body, along with two gold rings of color; one near the end of the pen, and one right in the middle. It was also gold in color in the other end of the pen. It came with a black cap, one with a thin gold band round the thicker side of the cap. Master William also had it personally engraved with her name: Riley, in swirly letters.

She finally found what she was looking for, took the cap off and started writing. She had decided to write first to her two friends, Rain and Spring, then to her parents and finally Master William.

 _Dear Rain,_

 _I'm so sorry that I had to abandon you, but I don't think I can live in this world anymore. I just wanted to let you know that it wasn't your fault, not at all. If anyone was to blame for my poorly chosen decision, it was me. You were a great friend. You comforted me when I was sick for a week (remember?) and actually talked to me, making me feel normal. You were one of my best friends, Rain. I'm sorry for being such a bad friend._

 _Love, Riley 3_

 _Dear Spring,_

 _You were one of my greatest friends. Every time we shared a class, we sat together and enjoyed each others silence. I do not know if you consider me as your friend, as we never talk, or hang out. But I want to let you know that you are a friend and that your silence spoke measures. Thank you for understanding me._

 _Riley, your fellow partner_

 _Dear Mom and dad,_

 _I just want to say…I love you. Although I never showed it and I knew you cared for me…I am sorry to say that I didn't trust you. You would never understand. Please do not blame yourself for my death…it was made to my own free will, and you two had nothing to do with it. In fact, just thinking about you did manage to stop me from committing suicide a few times. Please do not mourn for me long._

 _Love, Riley_

 _Dear Master William,_

 _By the time you read this, I will be dead. You were my brother. My best friend. I could not ask for more. You were the only person that I was actually proud of. You were the first and only person whom I felt cared for me because I was me. Do me a favour and firstly, don't mourn too long and secondly, continue making me proud. I want to see the gym up and running well. I promise Master William, that wherever I am, I would be happier than I was. I love you and remember, I will always be proud of you. No matter where I am, dead or alive, I promise I will be there for you even if I don't deserve you. Remember me, but do not let it damage you brother._

 _Your sister 3_

She could not bring herself to write more. She wanted to say so much more to her brother, but she just couldn't bring herself to write it down. All the way through, she was calm. Calm to what's about to happen next. She sneaked into her mom's room and stole four plain-colored envelopes. Respectively, she wrote ten words in total on the envelopes. The first said: To Rain. The second: To Spring. The third: To mom and dad. And finally, the last simply said: Master William. She stored the four envelopes and her diary in the first drawer of her bedside cabinet. She stuck a post-it to the front of the diary stating: To mom, dad and Master William. Please read my thoughts to understand.

Earlier, she had written a long diary entre about her decision and why she chose to commit suicide. After an after thought, she took a pair of scissors and cutted five locks of her hair off; one for each member of the 'family' to remember her by and placed it in the drawer.

It was time.

It was now three forty five in the morning and the sun started to come up. Riley smiled and walked out of the door to her apartment, finally feeling at peace. She knew she didn't belong in this world and all she would be was a waste of space. She opened her door and saw dawn for the first time in the seventeen miserable years. She gasped. It was beautiful. The sun casted a range of colorful colors on the wet cobblestones, shimmering in light. Shadows danced in its wake and it shone upon her tear-stained face. For the first time in her life, she felt free. She was free. She smiled and allowing herself one last long look at the amazing view, turned and walked towards the nearest bridge, which was roughly five minutes away. There were no cars. As she walked for the last time, she enjoyed the view. The wet cobblestones. The dark, mysterious buildings. And finally, the rising sun. _Dawn,_ she thought _. An end and the start to a new beginning. How fitting._

She had reached her destination. An old, creaky wooden bridge directly above a river of rushing water. She took a quick glance to show that nobody was watching. She then proceeded to climb the bridge and dangled her feet over the river. She closed her eyes and breathed. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. And on the third exhale, pushed herself off the bridge with a calm smile over her face. She plunged calmly to her death.

 _SMASH!_

Her body hit the river and Riley Summers was no more.

She was immediately transported over to the Isle of blest. _Where was she?_ She wondered. Then, memories came rushing back. Her name was not Riley Summers. In fact, it was Annabeth Chase. A hero of Olympus. She had chosen re-birth three times and Riley Summers was the name she adopted in her last life. That was why she never felt normal; she was a demigod. And dear readers, that was why she never had a crush. It was because she had already found her soul mate – Percy Jackson.

Percy Jackson was in fact done with his three lives and stood just inside the golden gates, waiting. For her. She looked down. She was, in fact, dressed in a bloody camp half-blood shirt; the shirt she died in her first life. She was also wearing a pair of jeans. Her boring brown hair and eyes transformed into golden princess curls and stormy grey eyes. The only accessory on her was her camp half-blood necklace. She touched it fondly and other lost memories suddenly came rushing back into her mind. Her first kiss. Luke. Thalia. All her friends.

She walked up to the golden gates and promptly knocked. The gates opened and she ran into Percy's waiting arms, sobbing. They were finally reunited. Percy stroked her hair, giving her comfort. She looked up. His sea green eyes spoke of understanding as another wave of tears overcame her. He after all, experienced it himself.

'Wise girl, I missed you.' 'I missed you to, seaweed brain.' She lifted her head and kissed him. He tasted like all those years ago. Salt and sea water.

Once she broke the kiss, he said: 'we should go. I have lots to tell you.' she nodded and he got up, expecting me to follow. 'Percy!' she yelled. He turned. 'Can you give me some time alone? Here, please?' she begged. He nodded and disappeared.

Annabeth's POV

I took a deep breath. My hand unconsciously brushed by my right pocket, where I used to keep Master William's pen. I froze. I reached into I pocket…and took the pen out. I must have unconsciously left it in my pocket when leaving the house.

I ran my hand over it lovingly. In all three of my lifetimes, Percy was the person I had bonded to the most, but Master William was a close second. He was the parent, brother and best friend I never had. When Master William gets into the Isle of Blest, I will be there to greet him.

Master William, my brother.


End file.
